/* %-) */. My Town Tutors is a great resource for parents & teachers. X. Why do app developers have such high insurance rates? Amazing, right? What You Need to Know Now About the Lord Totally Being God Its a hardware problem. Whats the difference between ignorance and apathy? It made me so mad I threw my beer at him. My internet router is in my basement.You could say that I come from a LAN down under. We respect your privacy. Next, read these anti-jokes you cant help but laugh at. Learn more about the career in IT youve always wanted, or find new tips to further your technology career. Mom: Its not funny, David! ": 40 Hilarious Before-And-After Pictures, As Shared By These Women With A Sense Of Humor (New Pics), Clueless Director Calls For A Meeting Over Mass Resignation After Company Cancels WFH, Employee Explains It In A Way He Would Understand, AITA? Have you ever seen a talking dog before? Would you like to create warning label? 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Today I made my first money as a programmer. If Apple made a car, would it have Windows? Press Windows key + X. When you cross a frog with a dog, what do you get? If your children are looking for some laughs, too, check out these top knock-knock jokes for kids. How does a computer science major pick up girls? The husband called out to his wife in the other room for the computer password. Do you have any suggestions?. You can download images or even find online apps that will make Why did the computer show up at work late?It had a hard drive. What do you mean? Why did the PowerPoint Presentation cross the road?To get to the other slide. Pupcorn. Theyre pretty good, but they dont have a. A: Had a byte! worth your money, please no time wasters,They wont under any So lame, yet so bloody brilliant. Start with a capital S, then 123, she shouted back. If the Internet had a boat, where would they park it?In Google Docs. Why doesnt anyone want to work for dogs? V. She Admitted to Doing What Every Sunday? Why did the computer squeak?Because someone stepped on its mouse. Positron emission tomography, also called PET imaging or a PET scan, is a type of nuclear medicine imaging. Growlcho Marx. 17. Person 2: As a matter of fact, I Excel at it. My computer suddenly started belting out "Someone Like You." Texting acronyms can stump even the best parents: Mom: Your great-aunt just passed away. Are you sending me something via fax? 34. What is positron emission tomography (PET)? Dad: Dad is dead. 4. This Little Girl Bore False Witness, and the Results Will Shock You A cockerpoodledoo! When a dog has a fever, what should you feed him? Me: Call my wife. I have an outpatient here with an external iliac occlusion with cold foot pin and numbness that started 3 days ago. I have a question. As an IT major, I know I can figure this out. Please reply immediately. 27. Whats the difference between love and marriage? It goes to a retail store to buy a new one. Why are iPhone chargers not called Apple Juice?! Do you know the keyboard shortcut to help you not have to go the bathroom when youre working or playing PC games?Ctrl P. I joined a support group for former computer hackers.Anonymous Anonymous. A. Pooched eggs. One lives on a fictional mountain and the other lives on mountains of fiction. Whats the difference between the first three letters of the alphabet and a rare blood type? I dont have an oven; can I still make this? Lots of Memory 6. Why does Task Manager use the phrase "Kill the Application"? 33. Then a girl sitting next to me taps my shoulder and says, Youre plugging into my computer, not yours., Have you heard of that new band, 1023 Megabytes? What is computer vision? By the pound! Try explaining this one: fourwordsalluppercase. What do you call a cold dog? The 2D or 3D cyber animals which you get to adopt as a pet are . As we waited for a bus in the frosty weather, the woman next to me mentioned that she makes a lot of mistakes when texting in the cold. Theyre nice people. pet, any animal kept by human beings as a source of companionship and pleasure. What is an aliens favorite place on a computer?The space bar. Whats the difference between a teacher and a cynic? He said he did and thanked me. We have sent an email to the address you provided with an activation link. Whats the difference between a poorly dressed man on a unicycle and a well-dressed man on a bicycle? Heres what Siri sent: You need to get back to work now; you have a has-been to support.. These jokes capture the humor (and cheekiness) in comparing everyday objects and situations. Why couldnt the dinosaur play games on the computer? What do you get when you cross a dog and a computer?A machine that has a bark worse than its byte. To the lab for testing. "I'm russian to the kitchen." Woman Shows How "Harry Potter" Characters Were Supposed To Look According To Book Descriptions (35 Pics), Bride Doesn't Include Wedding Dinner Price In Her Wedding Invites, Is Surprised To See Many Guests Canceling On Her After They Find Out, 30 Y.O. Here are some queries posed to the poor, suffering staff of public libraries: "Whoever said that the definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results has obviously never had to reboot a computer." Why do sharks eat underwater internet cables?They were advised to have more fiber in their diet. Why couldnt the computer take its hat off? ~ Whats the difference between a good week and a great week? While opponents of this trend question its ethics, the proponents argue that it helps the child become responsible as he takes care of his own pet. 7. You only have to tell a computer to do something once. I joined a support group for former computer hackers. What do you tell a hacker after a bad breakup? Why did the dog walk into the saloon? Hes going to be here in 2 hours and 13 minutes.Edit: Apparently hes stuck in traffic and hes going to be here in 6 hours 54 minutes.Edit2: Hes making better progress than thought, he will be here in 12 minutes.Edit3: Apparently it will now take him 5 days. Why are laptops like air conditioning units? If two video game developers date each other Is it a Unity or Unreal? What is it, an essential document from 1993? We'll we'll we'llif it isn't autocorrect. Tell them one of these flirty knock-knock jokes. Happy to discuss further. A labracadabrador. Daughter: Please hurry because Im going to cry. Its hardly ever for them. Just 1 byte. Grease Lightning. Why do dogs love Redwood trees? Me: Samantha Gibbs is my wife. Anyone who thinks "talk is cheap" Person 2: Word. Best of luck, Matt! Mom: Well Thats Fantastic. They bring joy to people around the world! Applet: Small Application that runs with another app is the technical definition Great name for a tiny dog if you are looking for a perfect dog name from technology. Want to know if your husband or your dog loves you more? Only males need apply, since, as the listing tells us, I have a male name. The lucky person tapped for the gig doesnt have to do much other than attend all classes, pass all tests, and finish all assigned work while pretending you are me. Dont worry about having to actually get into the Ivy League school: Ive already taken care of that, he says. What do you get if you cross a computer with an elephant? obviously didn't pay my daughter's last mobile phone bill! We provide informative and helpful articles about the outlook for IT jobs throughout the U.S. I was in a couples home trying to fix their Internet connection. How would a computer describe a small piece of cotton?Micro soft. How did the little Scottish dog react when he met the Loch Ness Monster? Daughter: Dad What do puppies and pages of a book have in common? Father: I have a business idea. As for punishment, where naughty disk drives are sent? Pug-get about it! I already have three people following metwo police officers and a psychiatrist. 20. How are a dog and a marine biologist alike? From playing games to social interaction, this virtual world has it all. The dog is my best fur -end. Virtual pets, range from dogs and cats to horses and snakes, are basically created by software programs. Love is blind and marriage is . I'm addicted to checking my Twitter!DOCTOR: I'm so sorry, I don't follow. What does a dog say before eating? The Best Dog Jokes. All 40 accounted for, he says. Humans croak once, but frogs croak all the time. Check your inbox, and click on the link to activate your account. What do you tell a hacker after a bad breakup?There is plenty of phish in the sea! Hannah: Yoooo, yall hiring? then they'll realize they had it right the first time. Ooops! Pupperoni. How did the boy break the school computer?His PE teacher told him to kick the ball in the net. what type of pet does a computer have joke. I was having computer issues.Boss: Hard drive?Me: No, the commute was fine. Ask for a Wii-match! Teacher: Actually, you didnt turn in a research paper. I was on Facebook at work, and my boss walked up. 34 Engineering . The native language they use to communicate with other computers is incomprehensible to everyone else. 24. Why do app developers have such high insurance rates?Theyre always crashing. ~ @clarkekant, Why did the PowerPoint Presentation cross the road? These two strings walk into a bar and sit down. Why did the functions stop calling each other? "We have some, but it's covered in greece" My computer suddenly started playing out, Someone Like You. Its, I just got fired from my job at the keyboard factory. Mom: OK, I will ask your sister. A: a shampoodle! What does a baby computer call his father? Cell phone GPS location tracking. Autocorrect can go straight to hell. We tried S123 several times, but it didnt work. To get a byte to eat 4. Who chases computer criminals? Whats a computer geeks favorite snack?Microchips. Siri: Samantha McLaughlin is not in your contacts. The men's group decided that computer should definitely be of the feminine gender ("la computer"), because: 1. What type of a computer does a horse like to eat? Q: Why did the computer show up at work late? Me: Oh, very After i-messaging back and forth with my wife, I jokingly commanded Siri to pass along this message: You need to get back to work now; you have a husband to support. What happened when the dog went to the flea circus? A collie-flower! Q: Why was the cell phone wearing glasses? Lack of time in this busy world has tempted many people to explore the realms of virtual world a parallel world largely based on computer technology. = Ive already forgotten about it. Finding the perfect mouse for your PC sounds like a hard thing to do, but once your hand gets comfortable using a mouse, it just clicks. When I was done troubleshooting the problem, she interrupted me to ask, Wait a minute, do I type Student: I dont understand why my grade was so low. Where are dead computer hackers buried?In decrypt. This is a smart dog. I can still remember a time when I knew more than my phone. You like geek jokes, computer puns, and all things tech. Even though they cant give you the feel of a real pet, these desktop pets can be used for educational purpose as well as to give your child company. Texting acronyms can stump even the best parents: = This is the last youll ever hear from me. How about a drink?". We will not publish or share your email address in any way. Whats the difference between chemistry jokes and physics jokes? ~. Q: What do you call an iPhone that isn't kidding around? The bar bursts into flames, killing everyone. Q. We know it. A: It lost its contacts. Then a girl sitting next to me taps my shoulder and says, Youre plugging into my computer, not yours.. If an anonymous comment goes unread, is it still irritating? I told her ICANN. It was all you. A watched website never loads.. IX. In the barking lot. My mother asked if I could change the DNS server settings. Don't use "beef stew" as a computer password. To get data about your RAM on Windows, open PowerShell, then enter the following command: Get-CimInstance CIM_PhysicalMemory. A bulldog. These electronic pets, or interactive desktop buddies as they are often referred to as, have become quite popular in the cyberspace today. ~ @PaulyPeligroso, DNA Jokes And Pick Up Lines With Explanations, Watch A Math Professors Brilliant April Fools Day Prank, Ron Livingston Reveals Which Office Space Joke He Still Feels Bad About, Richard Belzers Last Words Were, F*** you, Motherf*****!. Since I dont understand Chinese, Im not your best option. Error occurred when generating embed. There are 10 types of people in the world: those who understand binary, and those who dont. Ok": Employee Leaves Work During An Emergency Because Manager Wouldn't Approve His Overtime, Guy Puts In His "Notice Of Immediate Resignation" After Boss Disregards Their Verbal Agreement, Warns Others To Always Write Things Down, 30 Informative And Fun Food Charts For Anyone Trying To Eat Smarter, 30 Of The Most Spine-Chilling Things Kids Have Ever Said, As Shared In This Viral Twitter Thread, Someone Asks "What Makes You Not Want To Have Kids?" It is mandatory to procure user consent prior to running these cookies on your website. Spy on Whatsapp Messages. Hey Pandas, Who Was Your Favorite Black History Month Icon You Learned About This BHM? They told me I wasnt putting in enough, Bill Gates and the president of General Motors were having lunch. What happened when the computer geeks met? The computer in my high school classroom was acting up. If Bill Gates had a penny for every time I had to reboot my computer Oh wait, he does. Pleasantly surprised by his honesty, I asked, Does your boss know that you discourage business?, Its my bosss idea, the employee replied sheepishly. Did you hear about the monkeys who shared an Amazon account?They were Prime mates. what type of pet does a computer have jokebemidji state hockey jersey. It's not stroganoff. How did the boy break the school computer? If you put a million monkeys at a million keyboards, one of them will eventually write a Java program.The rest of them will all write Perl programs. One wags a tail and the other tags a whale. Taking that into consideration, it isnt quite surprising that social networking profiles have become virtual identities of people nowadays. I was on Facebook at work, and my boss walked up. A perplexed guy asked me for help. We are no longer supporting IE (Internet Explorer) as we strive to provide site experiences for browsers that support new web standards and security practices. What should you do after your Nintendo game ends in a tie? Top Joke Pages: 180 School J okes, Family Joke of the Day, May Jokes for Kids, Funny Jokes for Kids, Funny Animal Jokes for Kids. Well, buddy, so do we, so your secret is safe with us and preserved in a secure ZIP folder. A warning that if you cook this at 275F for three hours instead of at 400F for 25 minutes, its completely ruined. Q: What is the biggest lie in the entire universe? Whats the difference between a pair of genes and a pair of jeans? Think your computer, laptop, or phone spying on you is scary? Mom: I thought it meant Lots of Love. Whats the difference between a good idea and a bad idea? Why did Wi-Fi and the computer get married? ~ Person 1: Hey Rachyl, do you remember me? Q. In fact, virtual identity has lately become a medium of expressing oneself more freely and escaping the social constraints implemented by the allegedly self-righteous society. What does a baby computer call his father?Data. Bloodhounds. Because they cant be buried in trees! They barium. What's the difference between humans and frogs? Okay, let's be real here. Seven Morning Habits of People Holier than You: #7 No Killing Before Lunch These e-pets dont occupy much space in your house, nor do they require real food or caring. Did any make you chuckle or facepalm? What did the dog say when he sat on sandpaper? Prepare to crack a smile, brace yourself for some cringe, and enjoy all the geekiest tech jokes we have assembled below. Virtual pets are not just considered to be good companions for growing children, but also for adults. If you put a million monkeys at a million keyboards, one of them will eventually write a Java program. I tried my best. Me: Siri, call my wife. Dog Puns. Why did the functions stop calling each other?Because they had constant arguments. 5. Why did the database administrator slice a tree stump in half?He needed a binary log. 23. Q: Why did the computer keep sneezing? VII. Whats the difference between the Grinch and a liar? If it werent for C, wed all be programming in BASI and OBOL. My Internet stopped working for 5 minutes.Met my parents. "Is there any turkey?" Start with a A client called my help desk saying she couldnt send an e-mail. Did you hear about the computer that kept rebooting? Why do you need alicensefor a dog and not for a cat? He knew how to paws for dramatic effect. Sign up to receive the latest and greatest articles from our site automatically each week (give or take)right to your inbox. You can really get your parents fooled by pretending their smart phone screen or yours has been cracked. Orders 0 beers. Client to designer: It doesnt really look purple. You may find more than what youre looking for. Apple computers: Warning!